The past two days have been basically me cleaning my apartment like a maniac. I did have my music theory final today, which I think went pretty well. But now I’m finally done with the semester!! My first semester of my masters program complete, wowzer. It flew by so fast. As I planned, I haven’t practiced since it’s my week off, though honestly I really wanted to yesterday. So unusual for me, but its definitely a good thing. I’m pretty excited to start working on new music, and the band audition music just came out as well, so I’ll have that to practice as well.
Now, as for today, after my exam I finally wrote/composed something that’s been in my head for a while. And this is one where lyrics came with, so I’m singing (which is terrifying to me!!!!!). But I can’t help the fact that my brain has had this stuck in my head for weeks. As much as I wish the lyrics weren’t there so I wouldn’t have to sing, they are. Honestly, it doesn’t sound exactly like how it was in my brain, but I think what I have now is better, maybe minus my voice. It’s crazy to me that this small clip of a song took like 3 hours…so…there’s some perspective for you. Now, I am incredibly insecure of my voice and have been for a while. It honestly probably started back in middle school when people weren’t the nicest, but that’s middle school for you. Here’s the thing too, I know that objectively, I am a good singer. I can easily match pitch and I can sight sing. But I hate the way I sound. So, I’m procrastinating putting this clip here because then my voice will be on the internet for anyone to hear and rip to shreds. It’s absolutely terrifying. Especially because people I know probably read this and will probably listen….ahh I’m sweating because I’m so nervous. Not to mention the lyrics of this piece are a lot of how I’ve felt, granted this is only a small part of it, but it’s still scary in the way of I’m about to share a bit of how I’ve felt. I also don’t have a good mic for recording voice (the one I keep using keeps just not working, so I used the mic I’d use for flute recordings and yeah, not the best at all). But yeah, I really haven’t had anything to interesting happen these past two days. Tomorrow I’m heading back home for the holidays, which will be nice minus the 5 hour drive, but I’ll have a good audio book to listen to. (I’m really procrastinating putting this clip in I don’t really know why I’ve decided to do this. Please be nice or not nice and tell me I suck so I can take this post down and never try singing again, thx). Ahhh ok, that’s all here’s the clip bye I will not be looking at this anytime soon because I don’t want to know if anyone listens to it because I’m scared.
by juniparker
