I guess I should start where I left off? Driving to New York was a lot…mostly driving through New York was a lot, but I survived. I swear those people think traffic laws are just suggestions. The trip as a whole was quick, but lots of fun. We got to our hotel and basically immediately went to eat and then to the concert venue. The Xdinary Heroes concert was amazing. Our seats were pretty decent on the floor, so we could see them nicely. They did great (though in my opinion their sound techs could have worked a bit harder for them). Still tons of fun. They did a “hi and bye” afterwards, which was new for me. Basically they had us all line up and exit the venue the same way- passing by the artists/idols themselves. Crazy. Never been that close to them or any idol LOL. I was surprised by my boldness/extrovertedness? Many people were so stunned they just walked by with a wave and no words (or like my sibling, simply looked down in confusion and missed them). I did not. I immediately told them they did a great job and thanked them for coming out, while waving and getting a great look at them all. I blame the musician in me. I wanted to make sure they knew they did great and that I at least appreciated them for coming all that way. Still crazy I did that though, especially if you know me in person. I am mostly shy and very introverted. I never really go out of my way to talk to people. But I sure did with them. The next day we hit up a Daiso, since my sibling had never been to one, and drove back home.
That’s about the most exciting my life has been these past few months. It’s been really hard honestly. My brain, or what I’m calling my “critic part” now, is not nice. And pretty much every day there’s been a bully in my head telling me I’m pretty worthless in every way, shape, and form. As you can imagine, that’s not super fun. Therapy has been helping more than I expected though. The week, or few days after therapy, the critic is less harsh and I just generally feel better. Then I have a few days where my brain does some more processing on it’s own, which brings my mood slightly down and down, until I have therapy again. But it’s helping. Still so weird to do, because I HATE talking about my feelings and struggle to open up…but I haven’t really had that issue with this therapist.
Flute has been on and off, as expected with my mean little critic. I’ve been playing and composing more and more though. I had a random online lesson with a kid about a week or so ago, and that made me realize that I do actually want to do this. My critic was just being a bully and making me doubt it. So I’ve been getting back into it 🙂 . Speaking of getting back into it, besides the planning and composing….I got good news! My high school band director (one of the ones of the 3 that I had) reached out asking if I was back in town and interesting in doing flute lessons there! So, looks like I’ll be doing that for my old high school, as well as the new high school here since she gave them my info and they’ve reached out. It’s terrifying, but also exciting. Also kinda weird though. I’m basically going to be doing what my flute teacher in high school did 0.0 I think it’ll be really nice for multiple reasons though, even though I know at first it may be a bit rough.
For a few random updates most people won’t care about- there’s a new boba shop here where I live, which is SO INCREDIBLY EXCITING, considering I love boba. And thankfully, it is actually really good boba. I’ve been doing quite a bit of painting, which definitely helps my mood improve. And lastly, but not leastly, my sibling has left for Korea for the semester. They’re studying abroad there, which I’m totally not super jealous about… But at the same time, I’m so incredibly proud and excited for them. It’s super weird to be in such a different time zone from them though, definitely not used to it haha.
