Gotta start the post by announcing I finished up my last semester at WVU and technically graduated! (I didn’t walk due to my audition). It still hasn’t really hit me yet that I’ve graduated…but I guess that will happen more so in August when I’m not going back to school for the first time. It was a quick, but also long 2 years. I’m definitely thankful for my experiences there, and will definitely miss the studio. But I am also very relieved to be done with school, the break is much needed. I’m excited to see where things go in my career. Even though I didn’t walk at graduation, I took a few pics 🙂 . Oh and I can’t forget to mention that I went ziplining with a friend before they left for the summer (and me for who knows)!! It was so much fun and I’m so glad we were able to go. I think ziplining should be an annual end of the school year thing lol.
Now for the big stuff, and possibly the reason you’re even reading this post. My audition. I planned to audition to the Bozeman Symphony Orchestra and the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra. Vancouver is tomorrow and I’ll probably do another post about that whole trip, but for now it’s Bozeman, MT, my very first professional audition.
To start, I came into this whole audition process mostly as just that. Learning the process. I don’t expect that I’ll actually get either of these jobs (spoiler, didn’t get the first one lol). But that was okay with me. I wanted to learn the process of auditioning and see what it’s like. And why not try right after graduation? There were some openings and I figured why not. So thank you student loan money for taking me on this trip haha. I think the mindset you come into these auditions with is important, or really any audition. Orchestral auditions are incredibly competitive, and it’s unlikely you’ll get the job. That’s just the truth. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try though, because then you definitely won’t get the job. But if you go in expecting that you’ll definitely get the job, you’re probably going to be disappointed.
I flew into Bozeman on Friday, arrived very late and got to my hotel as usual. The next morning I woke up early (the time difference made that a lot easier) for my audition. Check in started at 8 and went until 9:15 or something. Me, being the anxious person I am, got there way too early and I knew it. I’m not going to lie I was there by 7:30 lol. So I just took some time to walk around the campus a bit, as the auditions were held on Montana State University’s campus. As a side note- Montana has surprised me. I’ve been to Utah and Nevada, states I figured were pretty similar to Montana, lots of mountains and very dead scenery. But it actually has a nice mix of greenery and mountains, which is nice. Anyways, 8am finally rolled around and I went to check in.
I was quite literally the second person to check into the auditions, but better early than late imo. When I got there there was a staff member working the desk, who then pulled a number for me. I was auditionee #12. I felt like that was a solid number, who knows. So I signed my name down next to number 12, and they were smart and gave a time estimate. So I knew I was going to audition around 11:20am…meaning I had a lot of time to kill. I wasn’t super nervous at this point, but I figured I should still do some things that I know help ease my anxiety. So I walked around their campus for a long time, not the smartest idea in heels, but I did. I don’t know what it is about walking, but I’ve found that it really does help me relax a ton when I’m feeling anxious or nervous. I also sat across the street at their duck pond and watched some ducks, while doing a bit of digital art. It’s not something I’m amazing at, but it’s fun and again, helps keep me calm. Eventually I got too cold and went inside the music building. I sat down the hall from the group warm up and decided to do some quiet warming up. If I warm up for too long, it won’t help my anxiety I have found. I had also heard some from people who have done these that the warm up room can be a bit intimidating, so I honestly wanted to hold off as long as I could.
So I sat in a chair and went through the chosen excerpts (they wrote them on a board for us in the warm up room there) on a pencil, sang through them, and chanted my “I am a music major” to “- am–sic major” for petrushka rhythms. It was in this chair I began feeling a bit nervous. I could hear people playing from the warm up room and tried not to let it get to me. Of course, there were really great players there, many of them much older, more experienced, and just better than I am. It can be intimidating. But none of us are the judges, we don’t know exactly what they’re looking for. And just because someone is killing it in the warm up room doesn’t mean they’ll do just as good in the audition. These are things I reminded myself, while also taking deep breaths and grounding myself.
Eventually I deemed it time to warm up with my actual flute. I was pleasantly surprised when I walked in the room, as many of the players were talking with each other. Maybe they knew each other before this, maybe not, but I was kind of expecting it to be more of every man/woman for themself in the warm up room. Of course there were some that seemed that way, and I may have unintentionally given that vibe as I didn’t really wanna talk to people lol. But I warmed up some and the nerves began to grow. So I did what I know would help. I walked back and forth through the hallway. Did I look absolutely insane? Probably. Here’s this girl just pacing the hall back and forth, who earlier was sitting in said hall and chanting…but hey, it helps me.
Then came the same worker from before who called my number and told me it was getting close to time. So she led me to a “private” warm up room, which was literally like a door down from the other so not super private. But enough for me. I ran through my excerpts one last time and continued to calm my nerves. I did some constructive rest (an alexander technique I learned, basically laying on the floor with your knees bent to relax and breathe), but felt a bit weird laying on a gross music school floor. So I did a similar thinking technique, but in a chair. I allowed myself to focus on my breathing, feeling the chair beneath me, the 6 points of contact I had with the floor, etc. I also randomly started doing some affirmations. I guess I just figured why not just do it all? Then she came back and got me for the audition.
There was another worker at the hall who gave the typical blind audition run down, and then I went in. There was obviously a screen, so I have no idea who, or how many, people I played for. They said I could play a few notes and then go down the list of excerpts they chose. So that’s what I did. I immediately noticed the hall was honestly pretty nice, always a good start. My first two excerpts were rocky. Debussy was first and I wasn’t thrilled with my breathing, then was peter and the wolf where my shaky fingers got a bit in the way. But after that I seemed to relax and I was happy with the rest of the excerpts, especially for my first audition. Then I was done and walking out of the hall.
In an info email they said that they would announce who went onto the second round every 5 auditions. So I went out and waited in the lobby with a bunch of other flute players. It felt like forever honestly. But I knew I was okay either way, I felt I had done my best, and I was happy and proud of that fact. That’s all I really really wanted out of this. The first worker came back and announced of the 15 that had gone, 3 had been invited to stay for the next round (she said the numbers but idk what they were, just know it wasn’t mine lol) and the rest of us were dismissed. I could immediately tell there were a few in the room who didn’t take it very well. I honestly think I was still smiling even though I just heard I didn’t pass the round, again because I did what I wanted. Of course, it would have been super cool and nice to go onto the second round, but I reminded myself that I have lots of time, and I am proud of how I played, even though it didn’t get me to the next round. It’s hard to explain. Like, I cared about the audition, obviously, it would be really nice to get a job, but at the same time, I know its super competitive. Clearly. Only 3/15 made it on, who knows how many more after me. And I was happy with what I did. Plus, that meant I had the rest of the day to explore.
So first on my list, unsurprisingly was food and boba. So I went to a place to eat before heading back to my hotel to change into more comfy clothes. After that I kind of debated a while with what I wanted to do lol. I decided on walking around downtown and eventually walking over to a trail near downtown. So I walked through a few shops…bought more than I thought I would (not much tho, I’m traveling) and headed to the trail. The views in the park, or parks, I think it was multiple combined, were absolutely gorgeous. Really happy I was able to walk around in some nature. Also just super thankful I was able to come audition, and then just casually walk up a smaller mountain/hike. Eventually, I was starving and very very thirsty because I don’t plan and didn’t bring anything with me. Luckily, there was a trailhead in a neighborhood at the other end of the trail I was on, so I stopped and got an uber to get some food. The cafe I wanted to try of course closed early, so I ended up going to a small pizza place across the street, as the only other options were fancy restaurants that charge 50-100$ a meal…no thanks. The pizza was killer. Real good. Afterwards, I headed back to my hotel to relax, or try to relax lol. I got some gnarly blisters from my heels, and may or may not have had to doordash bandaids…again, I really don’t plan. I just do. I had hopes to catch the northern lights, but had no luck last night.
And that’s basically where I am now. At the airport for too long because I can’t do much with my luggage. I’m headed to Vancouver later today and will audition tomorrow. Then I’ll likely have a lot more time to explore, which makes me super excited. I really love traveling 🙂 Here’s a bunch of pictures I’ve taken:
by juniparker
