It feels like an eternity since I blogged. I guess I was going to blog on Friday, but didn’t? Anyways here I am. Way back on Wednesday, I didn’t have any classes so I decided to get up for once and do something lol. There’s a trail not too far of a walking distance from my apartment, so I decided to go on a walk with Piper there, which honestly was super nice. I forgot how much being outside helps me out, it just helps my mood so much. As hard as it is to go outside, it does help. The trail was actually more than I thought. I thought it was just a forrest-y trail, but the further we got I realized it led to a little creek. I was thrown back by Piper actually getting into the water, because she hates water. She may have regretted it though when we got back and I was bathing her…
I don’t really remember what I did at all on Thursday and Friday….probably the usual stuff. Saturday a flute player had a recital which was really great. And quite literally the rest of my weekend was spent composing. SO MUCH. I don’t know where all of it has come from, but it’s like pouring out of me lol. I also caught up on a lot of sleep, which was definitely needed.
Today we had one last rehearsal before our band concert tomorrow and then I had a flute lesson. In my lesson we just kinda talked about next semester. I’m wanting to do my recital in the fall, that way I can focus more on what’s going to happen after I graduate, as I’m pretty sure I’m not going to go straight into a DMA program. So I got that mostly worked out, then we talked about goals. One thing about my professor is she could easily be a therapist and she’s good at digging things out of you, as much as I hate sharing my feelings. But for once in my life, I was honest and told her that one of my goals was to get more comfortable teaching, as it is something that I’m still pretty insecure about. So she suggested some things to help me out, which I plan to do. Like I told her, all of the feelings I have towards teaching could quite literally be my brain, but if there’s something I can do to help with that, I want to do it. So I’ll probably start trying to plan out a bit what I’m going to do, and I’m going to try super hard to actually do what I plan to do in the summer. I also decided one of these past few days to sit down and just write everything I felt. It’s messy and I don’t think I’d ever want anyone to read it, but it helped just a little. I’m not good at venting to people, because again, I hate talking about my feelings, so this was helpful. I’ve also done this with recording myself before on snapchat, then just deleting it all. That way it felt like I was telling someone without having to actually do that. If I tried, I’d freeze up like normal and wouldn’t really vent. So that helped me quite a bit and I’m feeling better now. Now it’s just a matter of working through the feelings I guess and not just ignoring them like I normally do…..
Anyways, that’s what I’ve been up to for the past almost full week. Tomorrow I have a concert and then really the rest of my week is nothing, minus my “final” in my electronic music class, where we’re just sharing our compositions 🙂
by juniparker
