Wow it feels like it’s been months since I’ve blogged. Thursday was basic so I’m skipping over it. Friday afternoon, I headed to the mid-atlantic flute convention with most of our flute studio and wow I actually had so much fun. I was worried that I would be overwhelmed, anxious and stressed the entire time, because that’s what has happened in the past, but I was mostly okay this time around. I’m sure some of it is due to the medication I’m on, but I also think I was more comfortable in general because I was listening to myself more. If I was starting to get overwhelmed, I went back to the hotel room or found something to go to that would be less overwhelming. So Friday was basically just us driving there, checking in, eating and then sleeping. Saturday was where the fun began.
So Saturday I started a bit later, as I’m not so used to waking up early anymore, with my professor’s recital at the convention. I’ve never had a reaction to a piece like I did to The Legend of SkyWoman that she wrote. I honestly didn’t think it would be such a touching piece, as there’s a narrative in the piece that is actually spoken in-between playing, which is totally cool if you like that, but I usually don’t. This piece however, made me cry. I do all that I can to avoid crying in front of people, and I tried and definitely failed. The entire story of the piece really hit home to me in multiple ways, personally and as a player. I highly recommend giving it a listen whenever it comes out. The whole thing was really emotional to me, but the part that really got me was the sky woman finding her voice again. Feeling unable to say what I want to, how I’m feeling or unable to use my voice in music is something that I struggle with. With anxiety there are times that I want to say something, I am internally screaming at myself to speak, it’s not hard so just do it, but I just can’t. With playing, I want to invoke feelings on my audience and share what I am feeling and it’s similar. I did it before when I was alone, why can’t I in front of an audience? Anyway, it was a very touching piece and I felt like an idiot for crying until I heard plastic rustling behind me and saw a friend also crying.
Anyways, after that I left to calm myself down a bit more before heading to the exhibits with the intention of buying a piccolo case cover. Spoiler alert: I didn’t just get a case. I came across a glissando headjoint, something I’ve been wanting for at least 5 years. So then I took the jump and bought it and I’m SUPER excited for it. I then door-dashed some food and boba in typical me fashion. After that, I headed to rehearse for our Flutes on Fire concert. Then I got ready and we had the recital. I thought it went well and I had a lot of fun working on the pieces I did. It was also my first time playing at a convention, so that was super fun as well. I’m really thankful for the opportunity to do so. After the recital, I went back to the exhibit hall and got a piccolo case finally lol. Then I’m pretty sure I just went back to the hotel room to chill, then headed to the guest artist recital and I honestly didn’t stay for the whole thing :/. It wasn’t bad at all, it was actually really really good. I just was exhausted, a tad overwhelmed, and really wanting to play around on the glissando headjoint I just bought. It honestly was a good decision. After the concert was over though, a few of us headed to a Korean BBQ place and IT WAS SO GOOD. We ate so much food and it was so good. I already want to go back lol. Afterwards, I met up with some other studio friends and we all watched Frozen 2 together and that was an actual blast. Then it was time to sleep 🙂
Then today we started the day like yesterday, waking up and getting Dunkin’. Then a few of us headed to an extended technique workshop which was a lot of fun. I always have fun with extended techniques though. Then right after that we headed to a recital that our lovely graduate assistant was in and that was also really fun. I left after her piece with a few others to get back to the exhibits and buy some music. I didn’t go to crazy, but I got some fun things I’m excited to play. Then we all met up at Olive Garden to eat before driving back here and now I’m here. It was such a fun weekend and I’m really glad I was able to go.
Piper was very excited to see me when I got back a few hours ago. My dad was kind enough to drive up and watch her while I was in VA for the convention, which I’m sure Piper loved. How could she not when he took her on fun walks? But she was definitely waiting for me to get back, which is sad, but also kinda nice to know that she does indeed like me. I definitely missed her lol. We’re each others ESA’s. Anyways, that’s all I’m gonna write because I am really tired and really wanna sleep. Tomorrow I’ll be getting back into a normal routine (hopefully) and also hopefully finally having my recital hearing.
by juniparker
